driving home today, i made a mental note of how i'd write about fall colors and the unmistakable sadness in the air this time of the year. i thought i'd point out the way autumn leaves encircled the moving car (almost cyclonic, in a matter of hyperbolic speak), and the gusts of cold air that swayed the naked trees back and forth.

but i realize there's no way of ignoring the real problem that has sent me into a tizzy of worry since tuesday night. checking cnn.com for the latest stats on the election, i went to bed hopeful that ohio was still up for contention by either candidate. kerry still had a shot, and a fairly good one at that.

it was bittersweet nevertheless for i had learnt during the course of the night that 11 of 11 states had voted overwhemingly for a state constitutional amendment that would define and defend marriage as an act between man and woman. (under the new amendments, same sex couples in those states would not only be prohibited from legal union, they were also excluded from their partner's insurance and work place benefits, and hospital visitation rights amongst others.)

Granted, these were states in the american heartland. still, i couldnt help but feel afraid with the notion that actual millions of people waking up to same sunrise as i, felt that people like me deserved nothing more than to burn in hell for our apparent hedonism.

after kerry conceded the next morning i felt somewhat deflated. political pundits on the news networks speculated that the democrats had lost the fight in their alienation of "moral issues", while bush declared that he'd been granted a "mandate". today, we have a president who's foremost defence is his weapons of mass deception, while two new senators who have no desire to separate state and religion (one demands the death penalty for doctors who perform abortion, while both firmly believe in the all-to-familiar anecdote of homosexuals in hell) join the fray of gun toting, god fearing, and gay hating republicans.

sometimes its so much easier to take comfort in a government that pretends a problem doesnt exist, rather than one who's made an agenda out of exorcising its demons. i never had much hope in this country. and now even more than that, i am afraid.

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY
char, twinnie, harlot, homie, b, huney (i know it said 3 but i dont care!)

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF
capacity to forgive, optimism, fierce loyalty to friends

THREE THINGS YOU HATE ABOUT YOURSELF
fence-sitting, indecisive, my insecurities

THREE THINGS YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
calculus, the way my dad is, korean dramas on the k channel with no subtitles

THREE THINGS THAT ANNOY YOU
bad drivers, people who insist on sms-ing while out with you, food-snatchers...people who reach across the table and stick their fork into your food without asking (yes claud, am still traumatized over that greco dinner with k), nazi swastikas in singapore

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU
clowns, the witch in the snow white ride at disneyland, clingy girlfriends

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS
cigarettes,coffee, kiehls lip therapy

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITES SONGS @ THE MOMENT
brand new - jude law & a semester abroad, destiny's child - lose my breath, jay z & r kelly - big chips

THREE people/or set of PERSONS YOU SPEND THE MOST TIME WITH
family, sam's internet persona, god

THREE THINGS YOU CAN'T DO
pretend you stopped mattering, concentrate on work, get to anywhere on time

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES
writing, shopping, gushing about melbourne

THREE THINGS YOU WANT REALLY BAD RIGHT NOW
totally fetch commes des garcons t-shirt, spending time with sammii, a pastrami sandwich

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING
realtor (im totally serious), oogler of pretty clothes (who occasionally is forced to pen sightings into words), full time lover of sorts (as lynn says, i might as well make some money for our household)

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE
fly first class on the new emirates planes, fall in love, eat sticky date pudding (because i suspect its not too hot in heaven)

this is really random, but it came to me like some sort of epiphany....this girl i know of (terrorized would probably be a more appropriate term, but whatever) from way back in secondary school really looks like george w. bush.

ugh. too wierd for a sunday.

daylight savings just happened and thats always alot of fun. tripping all over yourself to get to class only to realize you forgot to turn the clock back an hour. it makes for a nice suprise on an otherwise mundane day.

october is over and so november will start. then christmas and new year, in May i'll find my heart.

sunny day real estate - pheurton skeurto

i never paid attention to lyrics much but this one is a real kicker. i dont know why but it makes me laugh in a strange way. you have to read and listen to it. i think. or maybe im just weird like that.


Whatever poison is in this bottle will leave me broken sore and stiff.
But it's the genie at the bottom who I'm sucking at.
He owes me one last wish.
So here's a present to let you know I still exist.
I hope the next boy that you kiss has something terribly contagious on his lips.

But I got a plan. Drink for forty days and forty nights.
A sip for every second-hand tick.
And for every time you fed me the line,
“you mean so much to me...”. I'm without you.

Tell all the English boys you meet about the American boy back in the states.
The American boy you used to date.
Who would do anything you say.
Tell the English boys you meet about the American boy back in the states.
The American boy you used to date.
Who would do anything you say.

brand new - jude law and a semester abroad